Andrew Eckhart

On Relationships

Posted on 18 August 2010

Here’s the thing about relationships: they are as much about an individual as it is about a couple. Take care to take care of yourself. Continue with your own pursuits and hobbies. Go out with your friends sometimes. Give yourself some “me” time.

This is important for two reasons: First, there’s nothing more annoying than having that friend who goes all puppy-dog over a woman and abandons their friends. Second, there’s nothing less attractive than a man who loses his identity to become a mere reflection or shadow of the woman he’s dating. You attracted her because you were yourself and doing your own thing. She was interested because you were so passionate about your hobbies and liked the way you were with your friends. But when you take away what it was that she liked about you, what else is left?

I suppose I wonder about the nature of what some people think when they enter a relationship. Romance novels are in the fiction section for a reason. But, even then, the male leads in those novels have their own pursuits and passions to pursue.

I guess what I’m trying to say is yes, people change when they are in a relationship and often this change has to do more with their expectations than with their feelings. A romantic relationship should be a part of your life, not simply become your life.

Stay classy.